He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
