How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
