I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
