after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
