Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
