she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
