i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
