Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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