theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
