I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
