Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
