i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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