He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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