did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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