Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
