so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize