i just sent this text using only my big toe
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
