Having a random hookup so left but love u
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
