Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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