Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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