does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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