wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
