i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
