His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
