Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
that may or may not have been my penis.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
