FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
