I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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