i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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