Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
