I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
