It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
