His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sext me about skeletons
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
