I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
