Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
