Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
