Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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