so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
