I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I look better un-naked...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
