Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
