tell your sister to shave her snatch
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish you could order shots online.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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