What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize