you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
