A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
