I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
