Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
