trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
