I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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