i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
