how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
