What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
