STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
