Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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